You're Fired!

I can officially say that I suck at assembly line production!!

I've been as disciplined as  I can possibly be...honest...I just can't do it!!  I start with the best of intentions, and somewhere along the way this happens:

I can't tell you how many little piles of unfinished beads I have staring me in the face...it's obscene!  And to be honest, they will probably be there until they turn to dust, or I get completely disgusted and trash the lot!!!  I start out like I know what I'm doing, then somewhere along...oh say, the second bead, I have an awesome idea and act upon it!  Make beads, cure, spend half a day on a design, and don't stop until the piece is completed...perfect use of my time, no?  There isn't even an in between Utopia.  I can't make ten different beads, then create ten pieces of jewelry with the newly created bead components.  Again, that would be too logical for me!

Here's my version:

1.  Ponder over exact shades of clay to use, and spend hours mixing and conditioning.

2.  Make bead.

3.  Trash first three attempts because "it just doesn't look right."

4.  Finally get it right, and cure.

5.  Get amazing idea for a piece in my mind, and create accent beads.

6.  Cure accent beads.

7.  Decide accent beads aren't that great, throw them in the "for the kids" stash, and sort for an hour through bead bins.

8.  Finally  decide on what looks great together.

9.  Finish.

10.  Show husband the meager result of a day's work.

11.  Tear apart next day and redo because I had a better idea while laying in bed trying to fall asleep the night before!

Maybe I just don't have the sequential mindset for production/assembly line work.  To most, there would be a logical answer...but I just can't wrap my mind around what that is!  I've tried checklists, rewarding myself (hey, it worked with the kids when they were little), and literally throwing a sheet over the rest of the work table so I don't get distracted!  Fail!

I just loathe making multiples...in fact, I've never made two pieces the same.  Yes, I'm aware that no matter how hard I try, no two handmade creations can EVER be identical...but that's simply not enough for me!  If they look alike = identical in my head.  Yet I have no qualms with others doing "repeats"...none at all.  

My sweet husband just keeps telling me "Baby, it's the artist in you..." Which I personally think is a nice way of saying "I'm not sure why the hell you find this so darn difficult, and I've offered up every possible suggestion and support, and all I ever get is a death stare, so this is my feeble attempt of a safe reply, so that I can assure myself a spot in our bed, because the couch really isn't that comfortable!"

Photo credit:  Pinterest

Yep, so that's where I am.  I have no excuse, and definitely no sensible reasoning to my warped way of doing things...I am what I am...regardless of the insanity that I'm causing myself!